We have already looked about making statements. It should have given you a good basic idea how to vibe with girls. With making statements you build up a good mood and vibe. Generally you want to avoid arguing about things.
But you see, statements won't generate what is typically considered as "conversation". I will go deeper here and add few definitions along the way.
- Point: a view to some matter.
- Thread: consists of one POINT. Point can be said in one or more sentences. It is one complete thought or idea that person wants to communicate.
- Topic: coherant collection of the threads that can be categorized below one topic.
- Current topic: a point (thread) or a collection of points (threads) that people are talking about. These points can be placed under one topic.
- Current thread: point that one or more people talk about.
- Old thread: point that people were talking about but it was appended until it came new thread.
- Thread is changed ONLY when other people append the created thread with NEW points and other people talk about those new points or they accept it as the current thread.
POINT IS SOMETHING THAT WE CAN ARGUE ABOUT ==> Thread
STATEMENT IS SOMETHING THAT WE CANNOT ARGUE ABOUT ==> Statement
If I speak only in statements then there is nothing that can be argued about. Speaking only in statements without making any arguable points isn't something that you want to do for too long. Because points create conversation, they also bring value to the discussion. If you can make good points then people assume that you are also smart.
Guy1: "yesterday i was listening stratovarius" —> statement
Guy2: "what? that's a shitty band!" —> statement (you cannot argue about one's taste!)
Guy1: "i liked it"
Statements are used to:
- create vibe
- pave the way for the point to come
- tell good things about you
If you just make statements then it's giving your opinions, telling what you value or telling a story. Other can agree or disagree with you. She will base her opinion about you based on your values/stories you tell. But it isn't having a conversation, it is exchanging values. Exchanging values is important if you want to get her interested in you but it is not having a real conversation. In conversation there is always some POINT. You can easily go from statements to real conversation by just throwing in some point. If she talks about that point too, giving her point of view, then you are having a conversation.
- "I like X" - these are statements and cannot start a conversation
- "X is better than Y because of Z" - this is a point and can lead to conversation
- "X is shit because of Y" - point, can be argued about unless about taste ("Metallica is shit" -> cannot be argued about, "This DVD-player is shit because it doesn't have enough memory" -> can be argued about)
Best way is to make points and have other's agree with them. The mood of the conversation is good because we get some value from regognizing that this other person is COOL: he/she thinks the same way we do. It creates a good rapport between two persons.
Disagreeing about point is good if you have your own opinion to give. Going into a deep arguing about points is usually bad. There are rarely winners and it can involve some value-game. Who wins the POINT gets more value and other one loses value. It's not good thing to argue if you are not going to win. And even if you win, other person loses value when he acknowledges his loss. This is bad for his ego. He wants to take that value back from you or does not like you that much anymore. You are thread to his value now.
HUMOR
Statements can carry humor in form of a story. This can get good laughs as you tell what happened to some person when he was goofing around.
Points create different humor. This is the "sense of humor". Point can carry humor that is more BOLD. It can be Cocky and Funny. Usually C&F with point makes BOLD humor that great for interaction.
Humor is a complicated thing. At least good humor is. Humor can be associating between two very different things or taking unusual point of view. Good humor requires intelligence.
If you take a closer look to some group vibing well you notice that they are LAUGHING a lot. Laughing connects people. It is a social glue. When people laugh together they are sharing an immersive moment. These are the moments that build the rapport. If you make a girl laugh and enjoy herself you are creating rapport with her.
